Thursday, March 10, 2011

This burger needs more anger...

I've been hyping this entry to Bailie for at least two weeks now. Here's hoping it lives up to her ever-dwindling expectations. I really don't have a clever excuse for not blogging, she's the one constantly knitting AND planning a wedding.

Here's the inspiration: Was watching Food Network awhile ago and they mentioned the metal (as in music) inspired burgers at Kuma's Corner in Chicago.
Like this winner - the Slayer Burger: Pile of fries topped with a 10 oz. Burger, Chili, Cherry Peppers, Andouille, Onions, Jack Cheese, and Anger

Tell me that doesn't sound like a whole lot of awesome? Now that show came on the heels of a friend pointing me towards a little film called Heavy Metal Parking Lot. The setting, 1981. The subject, upstanding American citizens, drunk and high out of their minds in the parking lot of a Slayer concert. This started a three week period where we began ranking everything by its level of metalness.

THUS I give you THE METALEST BURGER, or at least the metalest burger I could make with ingredients already in my kitchen.

Burger ingredients:
- Pickled Jalapenos
- Sharp Cheddar
- Cumin
- Cayenne Pepper

I chose these spices because they are my two favorite spices, AND... because I'm still working on industrial size jars I purchased three years ago. I end up putting cumin and cayenne in everything just to get rid of the stuff, but I think they were the right choices in this case. I also chose jalapenos and cheddar because they complement each other so well (this was also before Burger King started airing commercials for their new burger with the exact same ingredients).

Here's where it gets crazy people, cheddar mashed potatoes ON TOP of the burger. Crazy and slightly metal, I know! Top that with plenty of bacon on a butter-toasted bun (black poppy seeds obviously... to represent the tortured darkness in everyone's soul).

After all this planning and debating, I'm sad to say this was not the metalist of metal burgers. I wanted something really decedent and over the top, and while this burger was uber-filling, it just didn't feel right. So I'm still on the quest for the darkest, blackest, devilist, metalist burger. Maybe I'll give it another go this weekend. And blog about it six months later.

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